Chan WHO Park and other thoughts on game 1 of 162

• Why is Chan Ho Park a current member of the New York Yankees? The guy had a 4.43 ERA last season, in the National League! He should not be a Yankee, especially since the Yankees made him shave off his hilarious Asian beard.
• The Yankees bullpen performed worse than Sandra Bullock's acting in All About Steve.
• Since when is Dr. Dre a Red Sox fan? He's from California. Also, I didn't know they let Black people into Fenway. Huh. Maybe you have to be famous.
• At first I didn't really like the YES Network's new graphics, but they grew on me. Good job YES.
• Pedro Martinez is like an attention hungry eight-year-old.
• Neil Diamond, you traitor!! You're from Brooklyn!! And the Dodgers moved a long time ago bud.
• I was kinda hoping the whole Curtis Granderson can't hit lefties thing was being overhyped, but it wasn't. He actually can not hit lefties.
• This is a quote from my brother Ezra: "Nick Johnson looks like a professional eater." Not bad Ezra, but he also looks like that crazy guy who killed himself in Full Metal Jacket.
• That throwing error by Brett Gardner made Johnny Damon's arm look like Melky Cabrera's. That means Gardner's throw was bad.
• It's a long season, the Yankees have nothing to worry about...except the fact that their bullpen sucks, their outfield is shaky at best, and Sandra Bullock could hit lefties better than Curtis Granderson, especially if that lefty was Jesse James (I don't know if Jesse James is a lefty but you get the idea).